LOOK WHO’S TALKING NOW

When your dog talks back, you can understand him at last

Since scientists first grew human vocal cord cells in dogs’ throats, the science of communicating with man’s best friend has advanced significantly. Now you can talk to your dog – he has always understood you – and when he responds, you can understand him!

Implanting 3D-printed human vocal cords in dogs’ throats was a great idea, but the voice-like sounds they produced were indecipherable except to trained animal behaviourists; kind of like how only a mother can understand the gurgles her baby makes.

But now computer scientists have come up with an algorithm, based on machine learning, that translates these sounds on the fly. Embedded in a smart collar, which straps around your pet’s neck in the usual way, it sounds like your dog has mastered human languages overnight!

The WiFido smart collar also has GPS and synchs to your smartphone, so not only will Lassie never get lost again, but she’s connected to the internet of everything and can call you at the office when there’s a real problem back home.

Now there’s no more guessing when your best friend barks; is he just excited, or trying to warn you about an intruder? WiFido will let you know, in a language that even you can understand!

Who said dogs weren’t very, very smart?


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Warning: Hazardous thinking at work

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